The neverending blog of motherhood...."safety goggles" required

You know I honestly always have an ongoing "blog entry" in my head. If I put down every single day a thought and/or experience maybe I could garner some wages for this season of my life. This week had too many good stories to let slip by so I will attempt to put it into a form, I'm guessing longer then I'd hope, to relay some of this weeks irony.

Monday: A mother's job encompasses so many actual "occupations" that it would be difficult to articulate. One of her least favorite (or at least mine) is that of nurse/health administrator. Appointments....finding the right doctor, scheduling, verifying insurance, paperwork, payment, somehow manage to save receipt to file with flex account but the big daddy is actually taking said child to appointment. This past Monday I had the "opportunity" to take Dane (or as his siblings call him...Daney-Doo) to his much overdo ENT appointment (with brother Anders as co-pilot). I had decided to go to a highly recommended ENT in the area instead of going all the way to the medical center where both his brothers had received their ENT work! I was glad to hear this doctor was very kid friendly and ready to get some answers...and relieve the embarrassment I felt every time I took him back to his pedi with an ear infection only to say "no I haven't taken him in yet....sorry". Unfortunately not all participants were "in" to going to this appt. I had to rally the four year old with promises of "being a big helper" and convinced him that I really needed him for this appt. As I shlept us all out of the car in the 100 degree heat at 8:30 in the morning I rushed to the front desk, somehow believing I could beat out the next guy that also had a 8:30am appointment. It didn't help that I had NOT been able to "preregister" as they had insisted I do on the internet as their webpage wasn't working and neither was their invisible "web assistant". I bolted to the front, asked for paperwork and she glibly responds "oh yes Mrs. Carlson I just left a message on your voicemail at home. Dr. Grant will not be able to see Dane until 10:40am. Is that ok?? "IS THAT OK??? IS THAT OK???????? DO YOU have any idea what I went through to get these two children to this appointment???? get back in car, drive home? drive to an errand? somehow explain the benefits of waiting until later to these two...?? Um, no I replied.....I actually can't come back! "Well, I could put you on another dr.s schedule for first thing this morning?" YES YES....please do that!
Deep breath....paperwork, where is the kid section of this waiting room? grown ups staring, clearly annoyed that their appt now includes small children.
More paperwork, waiting, cheerios on the floor, squirming, throwing puzzle pieces, and the usual "Mom, I have to go poopy?" Really....you can't hold it Anders? NO....I must go now.
You honestly must know that this child has gone in every single bathroom of every single store, office, event we have ever been to. He must clearly mark his territory and poop in every new location. After 45 minutes of waiting I calmly approach the front desk .. "would I get in sooner if I had actually waited for Dr. Grant to come in at 10:40?"
No....I was soon to be called back only to be told he has too much ear wax (that's actually partly why we're here) and I'd have to wait to see the dr. I am then called back again from first waiting room only to wait in an EXTREMELY non kid friendly exam room. I am sweating now as Dane is trying to poop, anders is pushing any button that looks like it may pull out someone's ear and Dane turns on a "vacuum". Sweat.....MORE SWEAT!! Anders says "WHy did you bring me here! THIS is horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" oh.....kid don't get me started.
Nurse comes in "please tell me what is going on?"
Dr. follows some time later "please explain what is going on?"
I make a quick joke, really to amuse myself.
He is NOT a kid friendly doctor unlike his absent colleague. We quickly find ourselves ushered down the hall on a bed where I physically have to do a body hold on my one year old while he gets his ear suctioned out with a loud vacuum tube (pulling out a seriously large wax ball?!) while my four year old hits me from behind, bawling, screaming "stop hurting him! YOu're hurting him".
The dr. speculates we could do a "wait and see" approach to tubes but asks us to go down the hall for a hearing booth, real hearing test. After this long process we are ushered back to our original, white, instrument filled exam room while we wait (some more). The dr. then comes in to tell us....well, Dane's hearing is actually below normal and his eardrums aren't working properly and he could benefit from tubes. "but, it's really up to you Mrs. Carlson. If you want to be cautious we could wait and see how he does and come back in a few months and recheck".... The room starts to spin, I literally think I may be leaving this earth and walking right into Heaven. All I can hear is "blah, blah blah Mrs. Carlson......so whatever you think?"
"I'm sorry, ... Whatever I think? What I think is I would sit here right now while you insert tubes in my fourth child's ears JUST so I don't have to make an appt, fill out paperwork, sit in your waiting room and come back to an office full of dangerous tempting equipment for my children. What I think is that I AM PAYING YOU TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER ABOUT MY CHILD'S EARS!!!!!!!! THAT's what I think???!!!"
"uh huh, well I guess I'll talk to my husband and we'll get back to you and if needed schedule a pre-op. Thank you for your time Dr. Castillo".

Ok boys.....good job and I guess there is a sticker for you on the way out.
and it's only lunch, on Monday.......

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